Let me rephrase that. Who disbursed actual capital to fund this waste of human ambition and Web space? Let's have the chaos theorists do all of the cancer research from now on.

The plot thickens ... apparently, and I don't know why this didn't occur to us all ages ago, if you're left-handed, or ambidextrous, or heck, if you even just have one hand on each arm, and were born in let's say ... oh any month, who cares, your chances of developing a malignant brain tumor are increased 100 percent compared to people who are actually stacks of canned tuna.

" ... the researchers stress that left-handed winter babies should not find the study results alarming. For one, it's possible that the associations were simply due to chance ... " <-- Someone got paid to listen to this self-evident dumb thing get said, write it down, and use it in an article that went out over several newwires to editors in all parts of the world presumably. Said editors, well let's save a syllable and go with saiditors, then published it. Also, if people are getting paid to say self-evident dumb things and produce hordes of useless informtaion, I'm so available.

My name is Aldo Montano. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Inigo: "I want to duel him left-handed."
Vizzini: "You know what a hurry we're in."
Inigigo: "Well, it's the only way I can be satisfied. If I use my right -- tch -- over too quickly."

Mmmmmmmmmmedal. I so want to know the words to the Italian national anthem now.