NO MATTER WHAT

1. Baby I'm a Star -- Prince and the Revolution: It makes me think of those heavily made up speed freak little unitard blond clone dollies dancing their hearts out on Star Search with your host Ed McMahon and panting into the microphone after he asks them their names and ages "Darthy, I'm sickth." "Brook. Six" "Megan. Seven." "Brett. Six" Brett, you're a stud. I'm proud of you kids. I love that song.

2. Ocean Man -- Ween: Nice ending choice Producers of the Spongebob Movie. This song is sunny when the trees are bare naked and everything is gray.

3. Africa -- Toto: When my little brother was actually little, I remember one day we were planting spruce trees. My parents have a nursery. I was around six, so he was about three. I would punch a hole in the ground with a spade, and he would drop in a seedling. We would each then step on either side of the seedling with our matching Pumas to snug the dirt up to the hole. As we moved along in 8-foot increments he sang "I left my brains down in Africa." Now every time I hear the song I get teary and laugh uncontrollably. Yes, I am dumb.

4. Filmstar -- Suede, The London Suede?: Sometimes they are Suede; sometimes they are The London Suede. I am not an expert in the field of hide-ology, but I can attest to the fact that this song is saxy. It makes me want to be a man with a ducky curl on the top of my hair and a snarly lip. Rawr.

5. You are My Sunshine -- Standard: Self-evident.