I thought I was having a real time of it here, adversity wise. I went "home" for Thanksgiving, which is to say I went to stay with my parents because the ratlady who's renting my actual house but not living there is not paying me. And although my empty, paid-for-by-me house is sitting right there, I have no legal right to enter it.

Even the grass is gray there this time of year. I saw a few friends. That was nice, but by the end I couldn't wait to get back to my marginally less awful existence here in New York as a law student and single mother of two preschoolers. That's hot. If you like debt and screaming. Oh! And we have a mouse. Must love mice.

I'm in the habit of typing out blogs and deleting them anymore, so ... ok.

I have a weird knot in my back, if you're into that. It's not Quasimodo time or anything. Just a lumpy muscle where I store enough negative energy to fuel a few NASCARs long enough to make them evil. Which is to say long enough to draw a crowd. Yep.

My apartment looks like crap, by the way. No chance of that changing anytime soon.

Who's paying my INTARWEB bill, anyway?

Wizard of Oz is on ... Glinda is acting as the munchkin-to-witchkiller liaison. Popcorn is crunching. Babies smell of soap and think the tinman is a robot. The wind began to switch ... I want to go home on days like today. I miss the smell of leaves burning. I miss a more comfortable tragedy; this one pinches. I miss the slow death of midwestern industrial decay.

I knew being a single mother in law school would be difficult, but when I came here I wasn't planning on remaining single. Not some grandoise narcissistic delusion, but I took simple comfort in the idea that when someone says "we're getting married in December," it's not made lightly. Cuh-rist on a bike, why else would I be here with two children, no job, and 9,000 pages to read per second? Here. New York City. Among the most difficult for anyone, and that goes triple for me. Not because I'm special, but because there's three of me.

So in my chronicle of things that might have gone wrong since I've been here and did, being totally abandoned is definitely the worst. There. I said it. Feel sorry for me. Go on, do it. I don't think I've been ready to admit that until today. I played it off legit. LEGIT?! Nothing could be further from the legit.
I wish I had health insurance. I'll need it when I'm committed.

In the last two days, I've lost 14 hours of sleep and 3 tacos. I would like the tacos back.