the breakdown: Jodi is smoke-free for 72 hours and counting. If anyone can send me a link to an unobnoxious counter for this, my blog, I would say to TEH INTARWEB "[Your name here] is e-righteous." Void where prohibited. I reserve the right to retract that declaration if you ever do anything e-weenie-ish. Man. Why is it w-e-E-n-i-e, weenie, but w-e-I-n-e-r, weiner? I invite theories. Speaking of weenie/einers, my bologna, (first name Koegel, last name Meats) has been running these radio ads and billboards all over Flint-town titled "serve the curve." Conspicuously, this campaign is not featured on their ad page. I shouldn't admit this publicly since language is my job and also it makes me look dumb, but I needed right around one month to figure out that the fine people at Koegel Meats meant "prepare and offer these curved all-beef franks to your guests" as opposed to "be obedient to these all-beef franks."



Forsooth my bologna, a clean, modern, sunny kitchen? I doubt that very much. Tomorrow I go to Big Apple Pants, Inc. to find a new fabulous dwelling. You would be surprised how many times New York is mentioned in advertising and popular media, or probably you wouldn't. I only know that every time one of aforementioned mentions occurs, my two small children scream "NEW YORK CITY," because they're excited about our Exodus. I guess that makes us the people. I should teach them No sleep 'til Brooklyn.