Not for use in suicides


We were driving the kids home from this movie, which is essentially the same as this movie with the only difference being the former's hunter antagonist versus the latter's sprawl antagonist when my mother nearly ground the minivan to a halt.

"Are you sure you supposed to be using those things like that?" I was putting saline drops in my nose at the time. I was putting saline drops in my nose at the time because my local pharmacist told me I couldn't have cold medicine with my medication. Not wanting to end up dead on the floor in my playboy playmate/Guess girl mother's Bahamian labor and delivery suite, I did what the man said. This brings us to me putting saline drops in my nose.

"How would you suggest that I use them, Mom?"

"Well, not so often. You've put them in there four times since we've been in the car. You're going to dry out your nose." I momentarily paused. I stopped putting saline drops in my nose to read the bottle.

"Place drops in nostril to relieve dryness as needed. Are you accusing me of abusing saltwater, Mom?" I resumed putting saline drops in my nose.

"I just don't think it's a good idea."

"Mom, I'm crazy, but my preferred method, if you will, would not be to drown myself in nose drops. Let it go."

"I deserved that."

"Yep. Pretty much."