Schools have been on my mind a lot lately. I have entered the realm of college graduate purgatory: the realm of substitute teachers. Since I'm new to subbing this year, I get all of the awesome leftover classes that nobody in their right mind would take, namely 7th grade special education and alternative alternative ed. So far I've had kids stick staples in their arms and stick pencils in a light socket. The theme seems to be sticking things where they don't belong. I wonder if that's a required course in education programs. It ought to be. Into to "It Went Up My Nose." Look out for Jodi's mom though. She'll have your ass in rehab for that.



The kids have also started school. Allow me to qualify that. The kids have started public school. In the past week, Scotty has told his teacher that he will not be eating any animal crackers because he is a vegetarian. Next week he's lecturing on non-violence at a local community college as part of their pioneers of preschool anti-globalization series. Then Grace came home and gave a stirring diatribe about how my forgetting to put a pudding spoon in her lunch box introduced her to that ever-elusive utensil: the spork. Grace doesn't pronounce "r's" well so it comes out "spoh-ook."



"It's half spoon, half foh-ook, mom." I looked at her.

"It's true. It's really true. It's half spoon half foh-ook. It's a spoh-ook."

"I believe you Gracie. I really do."