and you never will ...


I don't have jean shorts. I don't own a white bra. I have tattoos and a masters degree. It is not in education. The other moms are highly suspicious of me, as well they should be, even though they probably don't know about the bras. It could be because I don't give a crap if the cub scouts object to the all-school fundraiser including caramel corn because it might interfere their annual popcorn sale. People should not buy popcorn from homophobes anyhow. Scotty is not allowed to become a cub scout anymore than he would've been allowed to go to Vietnam or join the young Republicans. Cub scouts are incorrect. They do not belong in my child's school passing out literature anymore than does the KKK if you ask me.

Not blurting out "screw those little gaybashers -- arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh" at my very first PTA meeting, as the popcorn debate waged on, almost made me pass out. I almost passed out. I felt brain cells dying because they were trying to jump out of my head because my head was trying to SPLODE. I cannot understand how in a room full of adults, I was the only person who almost sploded because serious concern arose over a PUBLIC school's possible interference with a PRIVATE organization's continued attempts to raise hate peddling money. I cannot believe I was the only one who thinks it's important to not let my kid be part of an organization that would eventually kick him out if he turned out to be gay.

If I were in New York, they would've been too uncomfortable to voice their concerns. But I am in a midwestern hellhole. A hellhole I tell you.