On the day of my graduation, the snow piled up two feet. It took us three hours each way to get there and back, but you better believe Lloyd was NOT missing this for the world. I couldn't have cared less. When I walked across the stage, all they actually handed me was a rolled up poster that said "Remember the Marathon Runner: Your diploma will be mailed in the early summer." The poster had a picture of a marathon runner. I was familiar with it because the Dean of Student Affairs used to plaster the stupid thing all over the classrooms during final exam periods. I mean he wallpapered them Martha Stewart stylie. It seemed like a sick joke -- a running one between me and the legal-academic-ethics powers that be. The saga continues, but that's a story for when you're older.
My diploma is sitting on Debbie and Papa's Harmonium because I can't afford to get it framed. How sad is that kids? Three years of soul-sucking toil and all I got was this piece of parchment in a box that says "Do not bend." The diploma is $140,000 kids -- FRAME NOT INCLUDED.
I will devote an entire entry to how I ended up going from single on April 5 to married on May 15, because god damnit woman, EXPLAIN YOUR CRAZY and don't skimp on the details. Suffice it to say, I am truly happy, healthy, and balanced for the first time in my life. I am really, really, really in love in a way that I hope you two can appreciate and experience one day.
Right now, you guys are with your dad for the summer, and a little piece of me winces each time I talk to you because you're having such a wonderful time. I know that's horrible, but I feel like I'm the un-fun rule-making parent just because I make you listen to non-Faith No More Mike Patton project albums like it's your job.
It means "to identify and validate," Buddy. Mama had a hard week, guys. Feeling a little lost, like I'm needing you to come home, re-identify and validate me, ask me how gallbladders work and tell me they're not really bladders at all because they're in your stomach. I need that.
I need your idiosyncratic, yet PERFECTLY logical little brains to match my own. If I don't get to your birthday letters on time, know forever and always, you two are my heart.
